We got tired of boring, flat audio. So we bypassed the engineers and plugged a headphone jack straight into a triple-layer fudge cake.
Standard headphones are built in sterile factories, and frankly, you can hear the boredom. We decided to bake ours instead. We swapped the cold aluminum chassis for warm sponge and replaced the copper wiring with conductive licorice ropes.
ZERO CALORIE BASS - ZERO CALORIE BASS -
TASTE THE BEAT - TASTE THE BEAT -
Forget standard assembly lines; the SliceCannon lab is a bakery. We start by sifting premium high-fidelity flour with raw, unfiltered sub-bass until the mixture reaches a perfect resonant frequency. Instead of soldering wires, we gently fold in 40mm neodymium chocolate chips and temper the drivers in a bath of warm acoustic glaze to smooth out the highs. The entire concoction is then slow-baked at exactly 120 decibels to lock in the flavor.
We believe that perfection is boring and ‘neutral sound’ is a lie sold by people who hate fun. That’s why we took a blowtorch to the rulebook and replaced the acoustic foam with sponge cake.